Tarnished idols and lessons learned

          Olympics 2008, Beijing! As Michael Phelps crushed records left and right and put Americans back in the spotlight for swimming, my five year old son was among the millions of kids that watched with awe and wonder. This was the kid that would cry to go into the pool. But just like the whole generation that Phelps inspired, he took to swimming with a renewed appreciation and kept at it through high school, even competing - though not beyond the local Junior Olympics and Far Westerns. We were glued to the screen again in 2012 as Phelps swam at the London Olympics, and were crushed when Phelps announced his first retirement that year.

    In April 2014, when Phelps announced his return to competitive swimming, my son was elated - again, like millions of other kids. But his disappointment was profound when Phelps was arrested for DUI in September of that year. In April 2015, I came face to face with THE Michael Phelps as he came to swim at the International Swim Center in Santa Clara. I rushed to the parking lot where my son was sitting in the van after his swim practice and excitedly told him that his idol was swimming in the very same pool he just got out of. I said "let's go and watch him." His reply was, "No, amma. I don't want to watch him. He did drugs and alcohol and got suspended from swimming and broke my trust." My  ten-year-old little boy was still seeing the world in black and white and could not bear to see his idol tarnished. That made me realize just how high the pedestal was that my son placed his idol on.

    We all know the feeling...we idolize someone and put up posters on the wall only to somehow have that trust and admiration broken. Lance Armstrong was a huge success story and inspiration for so many; and to have him admit to doping was like a punch to the gut. Barry Bonds, Salman Khan, and the list can go on. So many tweens had been looking up to Justin Bieber when he was arrested for DUI.

    This, of course, begs the question - should we idolize people? Are celebrities meant to be gods? The answer to the second question is easier - it's a definite no. The answer to the first question is a bit more complicated. We can idolize certain aspects of people's achievements - like the endless hours of practice and dedication someone puts into a sport, the natural talent someone may be born with, the way someone overcomes life's hurdles to make it big - but we should not idolize the person as a whole. 

    As soon as someone achieves a certain measure of success, or becomes a so-called celebrity, the constant media scrutiny holding a magnifying lens to each and every aspect of their life is unfair. After all, to err is human. And celebrities and idols are humans too - with more stress than normal people can imagine. So they are bound to make mistakes as well. The true lesson lies in what they do after. The other lesson is that actions have consequences and celebrity or not, no one is above the law. Even someone who redefined swimming can get suspended from it because of his actions. 

       Do I wish celebrities who have such a big influence on kids were a little more careful of their actions and the impact of those actions? Yes. But it is also worth learning for the kids that everyone makes mistakes and in the age of constant social media, even if a mistake feels like it's life-shattering, it isn't. 

    And so, it was refreshing to see Phelps own up to his mistake and work his way back one step, one meet at a time to the 2016 Olympics. His wins in the Rio Olympics were far more fulfilling to watch. You could see he was a different person - content with himself, in love with the sport - through his wins and losses (including the one in his signature event where he was beaten by a young kid who grew up idolizing Phelps.)

    By then, my son who had grown into a teenager, was more understanding and was able to grasp what such a high level of fame and media coverage can do to a person, how stress can lead to a bad decision, how a single decision can change someone's life, and how you can work your way up from all of that to earn your spot on the pedestal again. Just like everyone makes mistakes, with determination, anyone can make a comeback. And, the comeback story is always more interesting!